the day after

holidays come and go too quickly.
especially when you only have one day to enjoy them.

but with all the preparation they are gone so quickly you wonder if they really happened at all. there are hints like the stack of trash or the few extra pounds when you step on the scale. a few extra sets of tire tracks in your snow covered driveway. you mind tells you that it was real and still you wonder. it was as if you had stepped through it like a dream. you woke up this morning realizing that things have changed but they still remain the same.

another peg placed in your existence.

maybe it’s seeing that the years are flashing by even more quickly. maybe it’s thinking that i treat my life like one big christmas. praying for some specific things to fall into my hands all wrapped up in pretty paper. feeling the joy and anticipation of unwrapping those gifts and holding them in my hands.

the flip side of me sees that rewards are things that are worked for. sweat and sometimes blod pounding out a creation of my mind making it reality. things worth having are things worth the effort. life is what we make it.

neither is true and maybe both are. laughing and crying at myself because a gift i reveived was not acknowedlged with a tag. wondering if i picked it up and it really wasn’t meant for me at all. one of those things that make you happy and sad at the same time.