celebrations

i am alone in my office finishing up things so that i can leave. 
the holiday season will turn from co-workers and inventory to friends to my family in a little while for me. 

the quiet makes me a little anxious. celebrations and closeness make me a little anxious. 
i’m not sure why. but here i sit thinking out loud to whoever reads this and i wonder. 

is it the parade of sugar? 
is it the adrenaline rush and then the let down? 
taking me out of my comfort zone? 

christmas always seems to humble me. maybe its not being with my immediate family this christmas that is humbling me. maybe its the fact that family that i have never met has invited me into their house, into their home for christmas. so here i sit here freeing my emotions. untwisting them. trying to breathe so that i can endure the undeserved love of the family i have found up here. 

wishing all of you the best christmas ever